Counselling is a supportive service, where a safe emotional environment is created for individuals to explore difficult issues.

Common issues counsellors deal with include anxiety, depression, stress, abandonment, rejection and trauma. They may also address emotions such as fear, anger and confusion.

A counsellor guides you through exploring your feelings, behaviour and thoughts, equipping you to develop a better understanding of yourself. The ultimate goal is to facilitate a positive change in a client’s life.  By becoming more self-aware, clients are empowered to cope with problems and make effective life changes.

A key aspect of counselling is the relationship between counsellor and client. Confidentiality and trust is key to this relationship, as well as the rapport developed between both parties. Reflective mirroring – in the form of trust between client and counsellor – is instrumental in providing a fresh perspective to a client’s emotional life.

Many individuals harbour misconceptions about the nature of counselling. Counselling is not:

• An instant solution or “magic fix” to life’s problem. Counselling provides support and equips clients with the tools they need to accept, understand and overcome emotional problems.
• A service where clients are simply told what to do. Your counsellor does not have all the answers. Rather, counselling is a reciprocal, two-way process where both parties work together to find solutions. That being said, a client may ask for and follow a counsellor’s advice.
• An emotional crutch that one runs to when confronting difficult situations. Counselling is a supplementary support, and clients must put in time and effort to make improvements in their life.
• A friendship. Counsellors do not get emotionally, personally or physically involved in a client’s life.
• For people who are “mentally ill” or “weak”. Counselling helps people work through challenges we all face, like coping with bereavement, relationship issues and managing stress or anxiety.

In essence, psychiatrists are medical specialists who prevent, diagnose and treat mental disorders. They focus on the “science” behind mental illness, and are licensed to prescribe medications for treating anxiety, depression and other mental conditions.

In contrast, counsellors are not medical doctors and don’t prescribe medications. They mainly focus on helping individuals comprehend feelings and thoughts, develop better self-awareness and acquire skills to make changes and improvements.

Counsellors and psychiatrists may work hand-in-hand to support a patient as well. For example, your psychiatrist may refer you to a counsellor for continued emotional support.

Counselling takes different forms, depending on your needs and the kind of therapy required.

Counsellors may conduct sessions for individuals, couples, families or groups dealing with similar issues. You may choose to meet your counsellor in-person at their office or another location. Sessions may also be conducted over the phone or via video-conferencing platforms.

Sessions are usually regular and scheduled in advance, typically taking around 50 to 60 minutes. How often you meet your counsellor and how many sessions you have in a week/month will be agreed upon during the course of therapy.

In a typical session, your counsellor will listen to you without judgment. The process may also involve challenging your thoughts or exploring feelings in greater depth.  They may utilise various exercises to help you recognise and overcome problems, or conduct more general discussions about how you are feeling.

Counsellors may offer their insight as well. However, they will not dictate what you should feel or do. As counselling is a process rather than a product, instant results are not to be expected. Your emotional state is a result of months and even years of work.

A counsellor’s approach is specifically tailored to your needs and therapy goals. Topics discussed may include:

• Your background and childhood
• Relationships with others
• Your behaviour, emotions and thought patterns
• Situations or issues troubling you
• Past and present life events

In your first session, your counsellor should introduce themselves and explain the way they work. They should also make you feel comfortable in the environment you’re in. Feel free to ask them about their past experience and qualifications, or what to expect from future sessions.

Your counsellor should discuss the terms and conditions of their service. This may either be a printed or verbal agreement that both parties can sign. A typical contract would include clauses such as confidentiality and termination of services if you don’t feel comfortable or can’t relate to your therapist.

An assessment will be conducted as well. This takes different forms depending on your counsellor’s approach. For example, your counsellor may ask you to complete a few forms or run through your background or referral info. You may also be asked to give a history of the issues you are facing, or tell your story in a more informal manner.

Most individuals attend counselling because they want to improve their quality of life or work towards specific emotional goals. For the best results, you should:

• Be open with your counsellor. This includes giving them honest feedback on whether therapy is working and asking if anything is unclear.
• Be honest about your emotions and willing to disclose personal issues, without fear of judgement.
• Schedule sessions at a good time where you can give your undivided attention.
• Set markers or goals with your therapist for positive change, so you can track your process.
• Be willing to work towards change. This may mean homework exercises such as journaling, preparing for upcoming sessions or paying close attention to thoughts and feelings throughout the week.

Be selective of who you talk to about your therapy sessions, to avoid unhelpful and confusing advice.